The Pygmalion Effect: pick your friends carefully

In George Bernard Shaw's play Pygmalion a professor wagers that he can turn a poor flower girl into a lady of high society. The concept is that individuals try to fit in by adjusting to their surroundings. Those surroundings include the expectations of our peers and authority figures. The idea is a powerful one and yet often disregarded in modern times. 

It is applied often enough to animals, we marvel at how fast they adapt to changing environments. How a once wild tiger can be trained to perform tricks and amazing acrobatics. How a parrot can speak and ask its owner for food or water. We are impressed by these adaptations but fail to carry the comparison to our own friendships and associations. 

The bottom line for us is that we generally live up to the expectations of the people we are around. If your boss thinks you are a very dependable person, you tend to be more dependable than you otherwise would be. If your friends think you are the funniest person they know, you tell jokes and act funny more often than you would otherwise. So far this sounds pretty harmless but there is a darker side.

If someone's boss thinks they are incompetent, or incapable of completing a task that person often lives up to that expectation by failing or underperforming. If your boyfriend is jealous and believes you are seeing someone else, you are actually more prone to engage in that behavior based on his expectations. If your friends think you are a dreamer with no real future... well you see where this is going. So, what can we do?

The most important thing to be gained here is awareness. Be aware that the people around you have a good deal of influence on who you are and who you will become. This means that there will be times when ending a friendship with a person who does not think highly of you will be the best thing you can do for yourself. This also means that if you surround yourself with people who respect and admire you, you are more likely to live up to those expectations.

So take stock of your life and identify those people who are negative influences. Weed as many of them out of your life as possible. Also begin to seek out positive influences when meeting new people at parties or work functions. Try and add one or two positive influences every week and see how quickly your outlook and situation improves.

Customer Service: don't discount it

I have a client that owns and manages a few restaurants. During one of our first meetings we sat down with his marketing person to discuss ways to bring in new patrons and increase repeat business. One of the first suggestions from the marketing guy involved coupons. My client immediately cut him off saying, "I don't discount my food." This seemed harsh and closed minded until I realized how important his statement was. In many businesses the first reaction to poor sales or a slow month is to discount the product or service. This will attract new clients and increase business, but it may not help the bottom line. In fact discounting an item often establishes a base price in the mind of the customer. 

If I buy a can of peas for 75 cents this week am I likely to be happy when they are more expensive next week? This is one of the most important concepts when it comes to customer service. You must look at your business through the eyes of your clients. If I have to pay more next month for a product I bought on sale this month it appears like I am not getting a good deal. 

So, if you can't cut prices how do you create more business? Promote what you and your company already do well. Advertise, promote, highlight, and emphasize what you are doing right to distinguish yourself from your competitors. Often this comes down to good customer service. Most of us are willing to pay a premium for good service and attention to detail. Many business owners are willing to offer better service and more attention to premium customers... it is a perfect scenario. 

Spend some money where it will improve your customer service. Ask employees what would help them to serve your clients' needs. Implement a few of the best ideas. This will increase employee "buy-in" and show the customer that you value your staff. 

Eliminate poor performers who are not living up to high standards of service. For every complaint you receive about an employee rest assured ten other customers left upset without saying a word. It is vital to your long term success that you keep only energetic, qualified, and happy staff members. This sometimes means you will need to provide more training for new hires or even additional training for current employees, but in the long term you will be rewarded.

Keeping a constant focus on customer service will not only grow your business but also keep that growth for the long haul, something specials and discounts can't do. So when it comes to good service, never discount it.

Suit Buying: a few points to ponder

When buying a new suit one is faced with many things to consider. I will attempt to help clear up a few of these choices and explain what to look for in a quality suit. First, if you are buying a suit for a specific occasion, say a wedding, funeral, job interview, etc. you should make sure you understand what is appropriate in the areas of color, style, and weight. 

Most traditional occasions like those mentioned previously lend themselves to a conservative suit. Conservative colors include navy blue, charcoal gray, and black. Pinstripe patterns in those colors where the stripes are very thin and hardly noticeable at a few yards are also acceptable. Bold stripes or window pane patterns are not terribly traditional and should be avoided for these situations. 

As for the style of the suit, a two or three button jacket with a notched lapel would certainly fit the conservative mold. A one, four, or five button suit is really more of a fashion statement than a sign of respect. The notched lapel is a traditional American look that has become the standard. Peaked lapels are a bit more fashion forward but they can be acceptable if they are conservatively colored. No notch lapels are most often reserved for tuxedos and at any of these functions unless you are in a tuxedo it can be a strange look. 

When it comes to suit weight the issue is comfort. Heavier weights are often worn in cooler weather and lighter weights are designed for warmer temperatures. The year round or all season weights that have become popular help to bridge that gap. If you are buying one traditional suit that you plan on wearing year round go with the all season weight or a light weight and buy an overcoat. If you are buying several suits or money is not a concern then buy what you like. 

One thing you must consider is the fabric. Good quality worsted wool will last the longest, look the best, breathe quite well, and costs near the middle of the fabric pack. Polyester will wear quickly, look shabby, breathe like plastic, and cost the least. Polyester blends offer very little improvement over straight polyester as the stronger polyester fibers will wear out the wool or silk fibers quickly. Silk and other natural fibers have their benefits but often do not last nearly as long as worsted wool. 

I hope this helps with your suit shopping, in later posts on this subject I'll cover fitting, and body types. Also, look for reviews of clothing stores and other businesses in the coming months.

Grilling Tips

If you are anything like me you enjoy grilling outdoors. I live in an area where I can do this year-round but I find that I grill more often in the warmer months. Partly it is more pleasurable to be outside during warm weather and certainly it is a relief not to heat up the house with the oven on warm evenings. Regardless, of why we're out there grilling let's make the most of it. 

Many people have a tendency to overcook meats on the grill. One possible reason for this is that recipes for grilling tend to be less specific about times and temperatures as grill temps vary wildly from one model to the next. Another factor is the experimental nature of grilling. Compared to a kitchen it is a not as structured, and let's face it, often the less experienced cook "mans" the grill so to speak. 

So here are some tips for insuring you give your grilled meats the best chance at making it to the dinner table perfectly done.

Let meats reach room temperature before they hit the grill. If we move meat from the fridge (or God forbid the freezer) to the grill we are going to burn the outside of the cut well before the center reaches its target doneness. So, keep meats in the fridge until they are completely thawed and then "rest" them at room temperature for 15 minutes or so just before they hit the grill. This will allow them to cook through more evenly.

Take meats off the grill a few minutes before they are ready. You can expect most cuts to move one category closer to well done even after removing them from the fire. In other words, even though you have cut the heat off the meat is still cooking. If you are grilling a piece of meat at 400° and you turn the burners off the meat does not instantly drop to ambient temperature. Rather it slowly cools down to room temperature and while it is cooling it is still cooking. So take meats off the grill just before they are finished cooking so that they hit their target doneness on the platter not the grill. 

Resting meat on the platter is another area that often gets overlooked. In our rush to serve "before it gets cold" we end up with wet juicy plates and meat that seems dry and spongy. Resting the meat on the platter for 5-10 minutes allows the meat to reabsorb its juices and keeps us from having to wipe our plates several times before serving them. This is especially true with roasts and other dishes that you are going to cut before you serve. A flank steak or london broil that is not allowed to rest turns into a bloody mess on the plate.

All of these tips apply equally well to chicken, pork, lamb, and other meats. Try to implement these tips the next time you grill out, and see if they don't improve your results.

Tipping: over tip for poor service

Think back to the last time you had poor service while dining out. Did you tip? Did you tip less than normal in hopes the waiter/waitress would get the message? If you did tip less than the norm you are probably reinforcing unwanted behavior. Think about it, will the waitperson remember you fondly or are they more likely to think you are a miser and that you deserved the less than adequate service you received? 

If your intention is to make a point you should over tip. A waitperson usually remembers someone who tips above the norm, especially after poor service. In fact they will probably feel a bit guilty about their treatment of you. So, the next time you dine with them they are far more likely to take better care of you than if you under tipped previously. 

Over tipping for poor service seems counterintuitive, yet it makes perfect sense. Wait staff get paid primarily through tips and it is in their best interest to develop relationships with those patrons who tip well. So, if we tip well we get treated well.

Obviously, this suggestion only makes sense if the restaurant in question is one you plan on patronizing again.